With the advent of the new year, you might want to view 2014 as an opportunity to review your marriage and see if divorce is right for you. Although no divorce is cause for celebration, it can provide a chance for a new life, free of the stresses and uncertainties of your current marriage.


The manner in which you handle your divorce can help you cope with the breakup and more quickly move on to the next phase of your life. If you have minor children, you need to communicate truthfully and fully with them to ease the transition to a one-parent household.


For those seeking a more peaceful divorce process in the new year, here are some tips you may follow:


  • If your spouse is rude or insulting to you, try to let the verbal assaults not affect your mood. Do not retaliate but be polite. Your spouse may expect a rude retort so acting calmly and respectfully may well defuse a volatile confrontation and calm your spouse as well.


  • Do not disrespect your spouse around the kids. Children usually love both parents and do not want to hear the other blame or speak negatively about the other. It only creates resentment and can contribute to feelings of depression in your children.


  • Tell your children why you are divorcing but refrain from telling them that their mother or father is behaving badly or is a bad person. By telling them that you have either stopped communicating or now have different interests, they can accept this more readily than some reason that blames the other spouse.


  • Refrain from talking about your spouse to friends. Although you need the support of your friends, few of them want to hear about the latest indiscretion or bad conduct by your spouse.


  • Take care of yourself. If you are depressed and apt to drink heavily, think about what you are doing and seek professional help if you cannot stop or if your depression is significant. Exercise will improve your mind as will eating a healthy diet.


  • Stop focusing on the negative and the past and concentrate on what is good about you and what future opportunities await you.


  • Get involved in group activities at your church, synagogue, gym or other organizations catering to singles.


  • Let go and stop beating yourself up or blaming others. It is time to move on to new adventures and experiences.


If your divorce is not amicable, consider compromising on visitation schedules or the division of assets and support so long as your interests are not substantially impacted. It is always best to talk with a Boston divorce attorney if you and your spouse cannot agree on material issues including child custody and spousal support along with the division of property and debts. There may also be significant tax implications that your divorce lawyer will explain to you.


It is a new year and many people seize the opportunity for a fresh start and outlook. By changing your attitude and maintaining a positive outlook, your divorce does not have to be significantly stressful or traumatic.  If you need help with a divorce in Boston give the Lovenberg & Associates a call today: 617-973-9950